How Style Bloggers Are Like Frida Kahlo

I just spent nearly an hour trying to orchestrate the perfect selfie, with right the light, framing, posing, etc. Partly it took so long because I have a horribly slow iPhone 4. Partly it’s because I’m obsessed with myself.

Frida_Kahlo_2

One thing my mother would say about this behavior: “Oh doesn’t she think she’s special?” “Oh for goodness sake,” is another. And I get that it all seems terribly vain. But there’s more than narcissism at work here—it’s also curiosity. What is my place in the world and how does my human form fit into it? I mean don’t we all wonder these things? Some people just wonder to themselves. Others wonder to the whole world.
[Read more…]

What To Pack in Your Carry-On for Fashion Week so You Won’t Have to Check a Bag

One of my goals in life is to never check a bag at the airport ever again. With a toddler in tow, this may be impossible. But on occasions like New York fashion week when I’m solo and confused about what to do with my hands (why is there not a small person yanking on my arm?), the carry-on is a work of art that I’m continually perfecting.
[Read more…]

So I Was Kind of a Badass in My Twenties

the sweater
So that’s totally not true, but you wouldn’t know it from this photo of me, would you? I’m wearing The Sweater, which I discussed earlier this week. It’s circa summer 1990, and I was living in a house called Big Pine at Cape Cod with nine other girls. We called it BPCCMA. We were not old enough to drink, but as you can see we managed to procure more than our share of Budweiser. We favored Baja hoodies and the striped pajama-like pants Debbie’s wearing (I wish I still had those!). As you can see I participated in the bad habit of smoking cigarettes. I had another bad habit of borrowing my friends’ clothes without asking, but most of the time they didn’t mind. The Sweater was Susan’s, who’s on the right. Debbie and I probably wore it more than her. It looked too cool with cutoffs and a tan on a breezy beach night.
[Read more…]

A Fast and Furious Denim Affair

DSC01762
I haven’t been buying clothes for myself all that much in the past two years. I’ve bought some of vintage, and a new item here and there, but compared to before Frida came into our home, I’m like an Amish person. I have my uniforms that I wear over and over again, and the funny thing is I don’t even mind. I’ve purged my closet several times, selling stuff at Crossroads Trading Company Threadflip, and Poshmark and sending them off to the Score! Pop-Up Swap. And it feels pretty good to have tamed my previously over-indulgent self.

That must be why I’ve barely taken off these Goldsign “The Stevie” jeans since I bought them recently at Rand and Statler in Hayes Valley. I mean it’s kind of a problem. They are all I want to wear, to a fault. You’ve already seen them here, and there I am above wearing them at the park with the little missy. I rather like my Canadian tuxedo look, but I can’t say the same for all of my recent ensembles involving these jeans.
[Read more…]

Getting Fired, Growing Older: Gifts That Keep on Giving

getting fired, old

When you write a blog post about how you got fired, then get tons of supportive and kind comments from friends, colleagues, former colleagues and family members, it will feel super cathartic. You’ll feel a bit euphoric for a while. You might even say to yourself: “Man! I’m psyched I got fired!” You might get some employment offers—you did not see that coming.

And then one day you’ll walk into a press-only area at a huge music festival in your city, whereupon a former colleague will exclaim: “How’d you get in?” Other members of the press will look askance (You’ll find out later she sincerely meant no malice. She can’t help it if getting canned has made you a crazy-sensitive person.).
[Read more…]

What to Wear to Outside Lands Music Festival 2014: Shop Your Closet

Outside Lands 2012
Outside Lands 2012, yes it was that cold. Photo by Jesus Diaz.

So you haven’t had a chance to go shopping for that perfect Outside Lands outfit? Well, the fest starts tomorrow, so it’s time to start shopping your closet. But don’t worry, you probably have most of these things lying around, possibly unworn for years. Time to break out those pieces and make them new to you. But if you feel like your closet is hopeless, don’t despair. I’ve included local shopping recommendations where you can find key items. Happy outfitting! See you at the park!
[Read more…]

Misery Is Ice Cream and a Carousel

Moments before she was "done."

Moments before she was “done.”

Yesterday we had a fun day planned for our little family. We would wake up early, take the BART train into the city, then catch a cable car to Pier 39 to see the sea lions. Simple enough, right? Not incredibly ambitious? LOL. Nothing is ever simple with a two year old.

The BART ride was great. Frida is obsessed with choo choos, so it was heaven for her. But when we arrived at Powell Station to take the cable car, the line wrapped around to infinity. There was no way she’d wait for this mass of humanity without incident. So we decided to walk to Pier 39, and take the cable car back. It wasn’t a bad walk! Great exercise, and to reward ourselves, we stopped in North Beach for a gelato. This is where the trouble started.
[Read more…]

So There Are Going To Be a Few Changes Around Here

DSC01303
I’m majorly overwhelmed and thankful for the response to my post on Friday about getting fired. I have to say I was really nervous to expose myself like that, and I asked my husband, who is really good at tough love editing, to read the post twice before I clicked the publish button. In this case he had only positive things to say, so I went for it and I can’t even tell you how glad I am that I did. In addition to the 94 (!) comments on Facebook and 20 comments on the post itself, I also received private messages from friends who had been fired or gone through other experiences that shook their self esteem, thanking me for the post. It seems to have made a lot of people feel less shitty about getting fired.

DSC01305
So I’m going to take that honesty ball and run with it. I’ll be posting here daily, and I’ll do my best not to make things seem shinier or happier than they really are. For example, I’m telling you right now that while Frida was just reaching the top of that ladder (see above), I looked away for one second and she FELL probably 6 feet or so and it was terrifying. The husband was nearby and he came running over and I felt totally guilty for being the bad parent who let her fall.
[Read more…]

So I Got Fired Yesterday

Yep, I got canned. It’s kind of the worst feeling, and it’s embarrassing, and my first instinct was to not let anyone ever know this really humiliating thing happened to me. In fact, I fibbed to one of my closest friends yesterday when I told her I couldn’t make it to the girl’s night out we’d planned because I’d “quit” my job and was upset about it (really sorry, Shadin).

Then I talked to my husband, who also got fired last year. He decided then not to take his employer’s offer to say it was a mutual agreement, not really a firing. I asked him why he would not take that opportunity to save face, and he said because it’s liberating to tell the truth. The job wasn’t right for him, and he got fired, why sugarcoat it? That got me thinking about my own hesitation to admit the truth of my shitcanning.

Then we picked up our daughter from daycare. As I waited for her caretaker to open the door, I was overwhelmed by the feeling that what’s on the other side of that door is what’s most important. Then it opened, and she gave me that smile and ran to me like I was the the most awesome person on earth.

I see quotes about how failure is good and necessary all over social media every day.

Here’s a great one from Maya Angelou:

“Courage allows the successful woman to fail-
and learn powerful lessons-
from the failure-
so that in the end,
she didn’t fail at all.”

Various outlets publish tons of lists of quotes on failure every year—but hardly anyone talks about their actual failures (Here’s one exception).

While reading the quotes makes me feel not as terrible, facing what’s real feels even less terrible. I want to live up to that awesome-person status, which would seem to require being an honest person. I got fired yesterday, y’all. I did some good writing at that job and I’m proud of my work. In the end it wasn’t enough, and it’s time to move on. So here’s to what’s next… omg what is next? I’ll try to figure that out over the weekend. Check back Monday, won’t you?

#TBT Fun at Mira Mira, Then and Now (Ladies Night Is Tonight!)

stylenik-undone-done-63
Photo by Molly DeCoudreaux

Almost exactly two years ago, I asked my friend Mira Pickett, who owns the boutique Mira Mira in the Mission, to style me for a photo shoot for this blog. The concept was “undone done,” a way of dressing the two of us had bonded on when we first met. Since it’s Thursday (#TBT!) I figured it was a propos to dig up one of those photos. As you can tell, we had a blast!

I’m so excited that two years later we’re even better friends, and that TONIGHT we’re collaborating again, this time on a Ladies Night event at the shop with eyewear startup Brownie and Madam. Get a personal styling session from a Brownie and Madam stylist, plus 10 percent off if you order glasses. You’ll also get 15 percent off everything at Mira Mira during the party.
[Read more…]